Much to Learn.

I hate learning.

And I absolutely adore it.

Contradiction? Absolutely not. I love to learn. I enjoy having my eyes opened to the things I'd never seen before, beginning to understand this world and the things that fill it. At the same time, it frustrates me beyond belief. The more I come to learn of anything, the more I realize how little I know of everything. The more subjects I touch on, in school, conversation, or reading, the more awakened I am to this restless desire in me to know more.

Now, I can't pretend to consider this one of my big flaws. I have many of those. But an insatiable appetite and passion to explore and grow has not, as of yet, proven to be a weakness. It is a character annoyance if anything, that the unsettled thirst for knowledge and experience will not be quenched. Whether I water it with history, literature, social justice, or dare I even say science, I cannot beat back the longing to learn and through learning, transforming.

This past week or so has been an especially "hungry" week for my heart. Being in discussion with a variety of people, I am craving more knowledge of Christianity in particular. I revel in the amount there is to learn of the history of my faith, the different doctrines and practices, and individuals' amazing testaments to a God that woos my very being. This is the seeking that I rejoice in, the happy frenzy of acknowledging my own ignorance and breaking down barriers of blindness that hinder me from being more.

However, a life of learning cannot mean I collect knowledge and merely sit on it, as a dragon hoards away gold for the sole purpose of reflecting on its wealth. I believe that to be someone who is passionate about learning means to be someone who is passionate about sharing. About teaching. About helping. And therefor, someone who is passionate about loving. There's a line from a song we occasionally sing at my university, a plea to God that He may

"fill us up and send us out"

What a perfect way to describe just what I want to be in the world: a sincere believer sharing out of an overflow of God's love, a well-informed wooer of hearts to the author of all stories, the rescuer of all sinners, and the creator of all souls. It would seem I have much to learn.